My Super Long Week

Let's just say, I've had better weeks. I haven't been out of the house in five days. I have Mastitis. For those of you who may not know, it's an infection from breastfeeding. It basically feels like the worst flu you've ever had. And the girls are EXTREMELY tender.

Anyway, that's why it's been over a week since the last post. This is the cause of my exceedingly great neglect.

Yay for help from family and friends! Or else I'm pretty sure that I would be sobbing much more that I already am. Yay for Baby Blues. Psych. But more than anything. I'm pretty sure that I would be dead by now if it weren't for Kirk. I seriously don't know how single women do it. I would die without him doing those middle of the night diaper changes and taking the late evening and early morning shifts.

So in case I haven't said it publicly enough: I LOVE YOU HONEY!

My Child is so Ad-Vahnced

G-ma, G-pa, and I were hanging out with Nolan during tummy time when he was 12 DAYS old. I pulled out the video camera in hopes to capture a good head lift.

But to our complete surprise, he did THIS:

Most babies don't do that until they're about 3 months old. He's 12 DAYS here! At first we thought it was just a fluke, but he's done it a few more times since then.

Yeah, our kid's pretty smart. He's all muscle. Just like his daddy. But I'm ready for him to slow down and stop growing up now. He's already 4 weeks old today!

I just realized how technically incorrect my "I got that on tape" comment is. Nothing is "on tape" anymore. But really, what else do you say? "I got that on my massive internal gigabyte storage." It's just not as catchy. Any suggestions?

Making time for my other relationship...

Now that we have a baby it is hard to remember what life was like before, the sad part is that it has only been 3 weeks. I find myself thinking back to those days when I got at least 5 hours of sleep at night, I spent more than 30 min collectively preparing and eating food each day, and I had time to spend with that special someone in my life...and Angie too. That special someone doesn't even have a name, they are just a concept and a feeling. They are freedom, liberation, pain, joy, sweat, dirt, ecstasy and speed.

My bikes (yes I have two...and am proud of it, I love them individually and equally for their strengths and they are fine with it...don't judge) have always had a special place in my heart and garage (never outside...for shame), but as of late my bikes and I have drifted apart. True last summer we trained for a triathlon together, but after that wonderful summer fling we separated and they didn't get touched again (except for moving around the country) for a year. The summer is almost over we have only been out once, and the neglect is starting to show. They are too clean, look too new, and quite literally, just hang around all day. I, on the other hand, look too old, too round, and too soft.

It is obvious that these are desperate times, so I have come up with a plan...

I am going to bike to work.

The 11 miles should take me around 45 minutes, about the same time that I spend walking to and riding MAX on a good day (on a bad day my I don't have my phone, the max is broken and I don't get home for 3 hours). This will be time for me to rekindle that relationship that has been put on the back burner for far too long, and hopefully save time in the long run.

As much as I really want to sacrifice for this relationship, I also understand that it will be difficult (mile 22 kicked my butt on my last ride), so I don't plan on biking every day to and from work to start out. I will cheat and ride max part of the way on the way back some days, or however it works out. Also, this will probably only last until it gets really cold...being cold is not fun at 25 mph.

Here is a map of the rout that I plan on taking, what do you think?

My AWKWARD laughter

As some of you may know, when you have stitches in the "down there" area, some tasks like sneezing, coughing, and moving become quite painful. Laughing also falls into that category. It hurts to repeatedly flex those laughing muscles over and over again!

Just a few days after delivery, Kirk showed me this hilarious website - sending me on a painful laughing spree. I couldn't stop. Even though it was killing me. My laughter turned into this weird sounding repetitive gasp (ever tried laughing without flexing your abs? It sounds weird.)

Now that I can laugh again, I recommend checking out awkwardfamilyphotos.com

These are some of my favorite photos:

There's plenty of room on the couch.

But all the chairs are taken.

The Swinger: When you've got it, you've got it.

Razmataz: What if we told you that kids talked mom into this?

Gift Reciepts.

Don't even bother showing up to a dinner party at this family's house without a little white dog.

A true gem.

A reminder that being seen in a family photograph is a privilege, not a right.

This is what happens when your male role model is both a gym teacher and a priest.

Mommy the Pooh:

The father was so relieved when he found out he was gonna be Eeyore.

Even the tree felt this one was awkward.

For real?

Mirror Image

Okay, Seriously. This boy is completely Kirk. If he hadn't come out of me, I'd wonder if he were even my child!

1981 vs. 2009

My Little Bebe!

The other day my sister-in-law came over with my 3-year-old niece. She was more interested in the baby swing than the actual baby. Couldn't resist this picture:

My Recovery

While pregnant, there were plenty of preparations made for the baby and the actual labor and delivery experience. Which is all very good and necessary. However, there's not a lot of talk about the RECOVERY aspect of this traumatic number done on the mother's body. Perhaps there's good reasoning in keeping this hush-hush (so as to not scare people out of it all), but I think it's worth discussing.

Although I had that life-saving epidural, I had NOT anticipated the pain my body would feel AFTER the anesthetic wore off! Apparently, my body still experienced the whole thing as if there were no drugs involved. Go figure...

So every little bone and muscle down there (and there's a lot of them) has been stretched several times beyond normal size and contorted to make room for a HUMAN BEING to pass through. I know that the female body is totally meant for this experience, but it's still rather....uncomfortable. And it lasts awhile. Although I'm only in the second week of recovery, I am GLADLY looking forward to that magical 6 week mark :)

HOSPITAL RECOVERY: The few days spent in the hospital immediately after were much needed, but I totally didn't get any sleep. The nurses were great and didn't bother me too much in the middle of the night (which I'm very grateful for), but I think I got about 4 hours of collective sleep over the 72 hours I was there. I know, it's just the beginning of parenthood, but I could NOT fall asleep for the life of me! I just gave birth to this wonderful little baby and I was on such an adrenaline rush that I couldn't calm myself down long enough to relax and fall asleep. I have a hard enough time falling asleep as it is, but this was the worst. My body was THE most exhausted it has EVER been, and I couldn't sleep.

Finally, on the LAST day of our hospital stay, just as we were packing up getting all ready head to home, my body crashes and decides NOW is the time to sleep. So we postpone departure so that I could get an extra hour and a half in. It was heaven.

Then there's THE FIRST NIGHT HOME experience. Nothing can really prepare you for that. Having a wonderful husband who is willing to stay up with the wide-eyed baby is about the best advice I can offer. I think Kirk and Nolan watched about three Pixar movies downstairs that first night, while I gratefully slept upstairs. But being woken every two hours to FEED the thing (I mean, precious little baby) doesn't allow for a full REM cycle of sleep. So even though I may have slept for 6 hours collectively, 2+2+2 does NOT equal 6!

The first couple days I really enjoyed breastfeeding and felt like it was such a neat bonding experience, but after a few days of doing it every other hour, it's like, "AGAIN?? I JUST FED YOU!"

Thankfully, after two weeks I'm more used to it and viewing it as a positive experience again :)

Then there's the MEGA INCREASE IN APPETITE! I felt hungry all the time when I was pregnant, but that was only because I couldn't eat very much at one time. But almost immediately after giving birth, I was STARVING, ordered a whole bunch of food, and was SURPRISED that I actually ate ALL of it! I think my food intake has quadrupled. This is a good thing. Especially with the Relief Society and family bringing all kinds of food. Let's just say that produce bought from Costco doesn't have time to go bad anymore. Yay for breastfeeding.

HORMONES: What happened to those?!? Talk about a let down. Well, there is a lot of talk about Postpartum Depression, but I think the Baby Blues is nearly inescapable. I consider myself a pretty chipper person, which is why I was slightly shocked when I randomly burst into tears several times that first week (okay, and a few times since then). All LOGIC in my head said that I had no reason to be crying. I knew that everything was okay. But out came the tears. It was much easier once I just embraced it and gladly blamed it on hormones.

The worst hormonal break down happened the second night in the hospital. I got frustrated with the new breastfeeding experience (it's a lot to learn all at once) so I called the nurse in. And I just started to cry HARD. Then, with impeccable timing - THE FIRE ALARM GOES OFF! That just adds to the stress of it all and I cry harder. All this of course wakes up Kirk who'd been soundly sleeping next to me, and (in his groggy state), was so confused about what the heck is going on!!!

He thought that I had caused the Fire Alarm. Apparently it was just a 2 AM routine drill.

Well, I'm sure that I could rant on forever about this, but this has already turned into a much longer post than expected.

Overall: IT'S WORTH IT! Although recovery is hard, I love my baby and would totally do it all over again! Plus, I think it's much better than those last weeks of pregnancy. It only gets better from here!

Total Blog Makeover

Ok, I finally figured out how to do cool customized stuff for all the fun blog foo foo! Life has finally begun!

Here's Here! Part 2

Umm, I recomend reading part 1 first. Just an idea.

Sorry that it's taking me a while to get this second part posted. I'm sure you've all been anxiously waiting on the edge of your seats for the next part. Well, I’ve been anxiously waiting on the edge of my bed for the next feeding, changing, sleeping, feeding, changing, sleeping, feeding.....

I have much more respect for people with babies now.

Ok. So there I was. 5 cm dilated. They wheel me into the “birthing suite” – which is more like your average Motel 6 room with tile floors and an adjustable bed, minus the smoke smell. The nurses are coming in every 2 mins, sitckin’ and pokin’ me with all kinds of things. I have to say that my all time favorite shot was the EPIDURAL. And it didn't hurt as bad as people say. I've had worse novocaine shots at the dentist. Once I got that I was good to go J Highly recommend it. I can honestly say that I enjoyed the whole labor experience thanks to the epidural. I even remember thinking while in the thick of it all that I’d be willing to have another kid someday. It wasn’t so bad J

SEE?

note the zebra pillows; a comfort from home.

I was sitting there for several hours, waiting in anticipation to finally meet our little guy. Don’t remember much during this part. Although we did watch all 3 hours of Anne of Green Gables (Good reminder of how things used to be and how grateful I am for how things are now. Especially when it comes to medical advancements).

I started pushing at 2:30pm. By about 4:00 he was crowning and ready to come out. His little head was visible. I could see it!! But of course the nurses are all telling me to wait for the doctor to come and that she’d be there in about 10 mins. WAIT!? I’m not going to WAIT!! I want to push this kid out NOW!! I’ve waited nine months to see him I’m not going to WAIT another 10 mins!

But then, every Relief Society lesson about patience and enduring to the end popped into my head and I bit my tongue. It’s better to scream in your head than out loud. Right???

20 minutes later the doc shows up.

A couple big pushed and he's out! This beautiful, wet, scrunched up baby appears! He’s not crying, he’s just very lethargic and relaxed – like it was no big deal that he’d just passed through a 10 cm tunnel. But then the Russian nurses come to the rescue and rough him up. He soon begins to cry..

Sigh.

I don’t get to hold him for 5 mins. But it felt like 5 hours. I was soooooo happy and relieved when they finally placed him in my arms. Who wouldn’t be??

Tear.

And then I immediately ordered TWO chocolate milkshakes!

I’d been planning on that milkshake for quite some time. Mmmm. Chocolate J

Chocolate.

But even more than the mircale of chocolate, BABIES are certainly the biggest blessing there is. A gift from Heavenly Father. I was not quite prepared for the overwhelming love I would feel for this child. I’ve been around a lot of newborns, but I’m in awe when I hold and kiss my little Nolan. It sometimes feels like a dream and I look around and wonder, “Okay, when is his mother going to come and take him back.” And then I realize that I’m the mother. I’m a mother! I’m a MOM!!!!

He's home now!

Just 5 days old.

Prepare yourself. Zillion more cute photos to follow :)

He's Here! part 1

Thank you to hubby Kirk for at least getting SOMETHING posted about our new, cute, oodles of joy! Nolan is doing great and definitely has his daddy's calm temperament (Thank goodness! Some day I'll get one just like me and wonder how my parents did it).

Details?? I want to write out the whole story right now! But due to recent lack-of-sleepness (hence the 3 am post) and uncomfortable engorgement and tender tears, the details will have to come in segments. Overall, things went well - but certainly not as expected:)

No, it was not a front porch delivery. thank goodness.

Just after my 12am, post about contractions and going to the hospital, we got there and (I'm in pain mind you) they told us to GO HOME. What!?! I purposefully waited THREE HOURS of regular and extremely uncomfortable contractions to be SURE that this was it. You hear too many stories about people being sent home from the hospital cause they jumped the gun, and I wasn't about to be one of THOSE people.

But I was. Apparently, they WERE real contractions, but I was still only dilated at 2 cm. Luckily I at least got some mega drugs to help me get some sleep at home. And I had no idea how precious those last few hours of sleep would be.

The sleep drugs they gave me kicked in while still in the car just before getting home (around 3am). And that’s when the hallucinations kicked in…..

I have no idea how I got onto the couch. All I remember was that everything in the room turned yellow and there were bright lights dancing on the ceiling. Kirk was trying to talk to me, but for some reason he had a strange goatee and a pointy Chinese hat on. I remember looking at him with fondness and saying “Aww, you’re my little Samurai Warrior…” And then I was OUT.

When I woke up I was confused about where I was. I forgot that I was pregnant (yeah, weird), and I asked Kirk, “Where did all the people go??” He said looked at me strangely and said, “Umm, who?” “Everyone! Everyone was here. Where’d they go?” I insisted.

Eventually the drugs wore off and I was reminded of the contractions, which had painfully increased to the “don’t touch or talk to me I hurt everywhere!” kind of pain. We decided that it was time to go to the hospital again. This really WAS it.

By then it was 7:30am, which means morning rush hour traffic on the HWY. Of course. Traffic was going no where. I had FOUR extremely painful contractions just while waiting for the ramp signal. They really need a special labor and delivery lane.

BUT we eventually made it to good old St. Vincent (the same hospital that I was born at : ) and check in AGAIN. The people at the front desk sadly recognized us. I got to ride in the wheel chair again!

They finally decide that I’m dilated enough to be admitted. I was at 5 whole cintemeters…..

....Okay, gotta go. Baby needs milking machine! Here are some pictures for your taunting pleasure:

Here's the happy Trio. Our first family photo!

(This will not be mounted as an 8x10 entry room photo)

More to come! Check back after the next feeding and REM cycle!

This is new....and a baby too.

I don't have the same creative flare as my beautiful and incredible wife, but I thought I should make sure everyone knows what is going on.  All I have for now are numbers because my half-comatose, sleep-deprived state allows for no multitasking whatsoever (right now I am having to consciously choose between breathing and blinking while I hold our little one).  So without further delay, Nolan Ray Fisher said a heartfelt hello to the world at 4:29 pm on Friday, March 29, 2009.  He was 7 lbs 4 oz, a new record low weight for grandchildren in both our families, and 20 in long.  Phew, my Brain is empty now...blink...breath...blink...