I have to admit that the first couple weeks (ok, months) of parenthood were kind of rocky for me. It was definitly a fly-by-the-handle, on-the-job-training experience. It was like someone just handed me this little stranger and said:
"Here. Have a baby. From now on, you are completely responsible for this human being. At all times he will either need to be fed, changed, burped, put to sleep, or held. No, there will be no time for you or anything else. Long showers are right out. Don't even think about trying to blow dry your hair. Oh yeah, and there's no instruction manuel. Well, here he is! Your on your own now. Good luck!"
Anyway, in the midst of the mid-night cryinig bouts and feeling like I'd been stripped of every ounce of energy, I kept telling myself that it was all worth it. At least that's what everyone else was telling me. And of course I wanted to believe it, but it was hard to see how at times. I sorta felt like I was playing house, except that it never ended!
But alas, I have finally moved in with the group who can testify, "Parenthood is wonderful! Sure it's a lot of work, but it IS all worth it." Oh yeah, and "My baby is SOO adorable! He honestly brings an overwhelming rush of joy that I never knew I could feel!" I would seriously do anything for this little bundle of joy who is completely reliant on me and trusting. And I can just tell that he loves me even though he doesn't have more than like a 5 second memory span :)
Although sleep and the next episode of Scrubs are all very appealing at times, I often find myself wanting to do nothing else than sit and make gawking and cooing noses at my sweet little guy. Seeing his smiles and personality come out are the rewards that I've been aching for. He is completely unique and.....he's MY baby. That's still kinda weird to think about, but it's definitly more real now.
He's such a good, easy baby, I realy couldn't have asked for anything more. Even now, he's laying on the changing table completely enthrawled by his hand (of all things) (No really, he'll stare at his fist for seemingly hours on end - that are actually minutes). And I love that his whole face lights up and his body kicks and flales out of control when he sees me. He hasn't quite done a belly laugh yet, but his eye brows go up, he breathes in suddenly and then lets out whatever sound comes out. Usually a yelp, an achk, or a big long Ooooooo.
Eeeekk! I just love him!
3 comments:
I'm with you---my transition to motherhood has been so much harder than I expected. But I'm getting to the same point too, which is nice!
You rock. I love how honest you are.
You scare me... just a bit.
But I too am just going to go with the, "its all worth it" philosophy.
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